Rain on me
someone to raise your glass on you

the smoke drizzles in through the dust covered blinders
weaving softly fading trails
around sweat sheen flesh
propped up against the stark contrast of the cold ground

if pain could leave the same effect as shame it would have been shunned 10 times more and feared beyond our boundary of comprehension. Scorn scalds and scars fade in time, covered by the sand of acceptance, understanding and a wee bit of defiance. If I could understand the course in which time and God paths out, and detect the troughs worth stumbling upon coupled by temptation's wrath: would I be different? Or would the subterfudge of mere humanity be enough to force the unraveling of every knot rather than avoidance.

Cute Cactuars Come Cheerfully

Haha methinks the cactuars are really cute :p

My graphic tablet finally finally arrived, but alas it was rather disappointing :( but then again, i shouldn't be, considering the amount i spent on it hehe.

February, tis a month i always spell wrongly, but tis also the month of midterms! :( Alas, the cactuars shall cheerie up this blog while it is in the suspension of an indefinate deadline of it's construction. Fear not! We shall procrastinate!

Let the day just fade away

It's normal, perhaps, with the constant breath of expectation breathing down yr back, to feel the hairs stand and heart pound, and the consistent pangs of fear. It's like staring at the sun.

But to those who expect the impossible but play no part in it, you deserve no effort, you deserve no trust.

If the baton ends with me, so be it. I'll run the race for Him who loves. Not for the world who steals and slanders.

To he who said" trust me i'll prove to you i'm better than Him", you deserve nothing.

Shoot the moon (and miss completely)

As I sit and watch the snow
Fallin' down
I don't miss you at all
I hear children playin' laughin' so loud
I don't think of your smile

So if you never come to me
You'll stay a distant memory
Out my window to see lights going dark
Your dark eyes don't haunt me

And then I wonder who I am
Without the warm touch of your hand

And then I wonder who I am
Without the warm touch of your hand
As I sit and watch the snow
Fallin' down

I don't miss you at all
I don't miss you at all
I don't miss you at all

[Don't miss you at all - Norah Jones]

Nothing beats being awoken at 4am (just an hour after i slept) by the beautiful (but now irritating) jazz ringtone of my handphone. And someone screams into my ear after i had clammered down painfully from my loft "OHMIGOSH TIFFY! RODDRICK LOST! HE LOST! MY BABY LOST TIFFY!" and it didn't matter that he has been on a losing streak since last year. Yeah i miss you too girlfriend -.- Haha. Nevertheless, yr voice is Godsent, and i really miss y'all. Really really really. It really didn't matter than you forgot abt the time difference :p i made that mistake before, and i'm actually glad you woke me up. The alarm clock did so 2 hours later, but it suffered greater consequences :p

I wish i could drag y'all over here. Independance here is great becautiful and all. And the amount of spare time i have blooms in a moment and crashes to dirt in the next. Along with the ups and downs. But it's just not the same being alone here. I feel like being scrooge for a moment. BAHUMBUGing. :) lessens down expectancies.

The stack of datapad conversations Mabs and I wrote to each other since sec 1 was this mornings downfall. There lives a monster in my belly. Whom usually goes "feed me!" or "me greedy" or "me so corny" :p unfortunately, it must be in one of its violent fits today and i feel shreded to bits. More sleep and hot chocolate shld do the trick. But i felt rather wasted sleeping so much, so i grabbed the combilation Mabs mabs gave me (God bless her soul :D i sound like old granny sheesh) and flipped through the moments of incoherence and bare lucidity on our parts, sniggering away at ourselves. That level of comfort in which we managed to attain, along with my fellow minions and counterparts in S'pore seems impossible to duplicate. And i miss the moments of stark honesty and lack of euphemisms (which according to trish is impossible in my case -.- you suck. ha! no euphemism!)

The last DC we wrote to each other was the 4th year commemoration, during our JC week of CAP. Living in the same quarters in which we started the whole series of written letters. There's been written emails contemplating and initiating the continuation of the second part of DC, now with our life's seperated and in 2 different countries. But there's some inability to move on from classroom gossip to more... worldly events. And the reluctance remains.

It's strange though. How in the 4 short months in ACJC differs to the 6 months in Purdue. Initiation-wise.

I dream of home last night, and i dream of you.