Change of perspective

It's an old familiar wise saying, that is not the situation that you're in, but what you make of it that ensures your happiness, content, and peace at heart. (my version of what i've heard but can't recall anyway) But you get the gist of it. It's easy to mix satisfaction with quiescence. Something in which i probably invested too much time in in this year of 2004.

Looking at my family after about 4-5 months of their abscence is looking through an entirely different hour glass. What used to be filed under the irritation factor that my brother use to score highly for, instead became more endearment than exaspperation. My parents for all their nagging and insistance to lecture in looonnnngg speeches love me more than i can imagine (till i get my own kids :p) and i miss my mom's gruelling "get tiff to plan her life day by day" scheduling. She taught me far more than i credit her for, and i love them more than i express (something that's gotta change)

The year 2004 has been a whirling myraid of emotions, important events, wonderful friends, love, heartache and new environments. And at times when the kaleidoscope spin too fast i've lost footing, but learnt what to hold on to, and what not to. The faithfulness of God is ever lasting, though so many times i've shamed Him, strayed, ran away screaming and basically acted like an unrepentant spoiled brat (which i still am prob :s) The only thing steadfast and never changeing is Him, that i can always rely on.

I've learnt that love is not only an emotion, but an action. Love is patient, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrong. It always trusts, always hopes, always perseverse. (Snippits from Cor. 13) It makes you think twice before saying i love you :p but then again, this type of love is impossible without God. And it's something worth working towards. In being less judgemental, less grudge-bearing, less petty.

Talents were given with a purpose. God gave me words, and more than often i use it to harm more than to praise, use it to scorn rather than encourage. In reflection of this year, i've hurt friends, family, with the careless blatant use of words. To them i apologise, to mommy for being such a brat and hurting you're feelings by rejecting your concern, to daddy for being rude at times, to Rachy for failing to understand the stress i've put you through and for the hurtful words i threw in fits of rage, to my sweet wonderful charming bro for snapping at you all the time and pushing you away, i love you soooo much. And for the names and deeds that have escaped this tippy tips of my fingers, please forgive the wretchedness of my behaviour. Before this starts sounding like some wailing grieve-torn speech, I'd like to thank God for the people he brought into my life, and left footprints all over, inprinted into my memory, which i suspect will fade in time, but the love you brought into my life will not. To start from the beginning of this year, in YJC.

YJC taught me acceptance of people, change, and circumstance. I hated my first week in YJ, dreaded every coming school day, scowled, brooded and snapped. I learnt to accept how things don't always go my way, and how my way != to God's way (:p) To the people that taught me so much about life, and brought smile, laughter and friendship back into my dormant schoollife, Cherylinny, Jeremy, Armit, Ram, Angelina, Janna, Hui Xia, Sharada, Shariza, John, Wei Liang, y'all are wonderful :) I thank you for making the 1.5 hr mrt ride worth it. I'll always treasure the moment i was first exposed to this side of s'pore i never exprienced in my sheltered MGS life. The times we ran around in the food pasa malam ouside the yishun mrt station, eating eating and eating :p for the woodlands foodcourt times, Jeremy's cookies :), Cherylnny and i's escapade in the computer lab, playing that colourful cube game and driving our computing teacher mad. For the crazy C++ programs we wrotejust for the heck of it. Driving Mr Wu insane with our crazy math ethics, he still owes me $15 for my orientation package(cookieman, remind him!) Mr Lee (issat his name?) our cooooool GP teacher that lectured me about my hopeless grammer but gaveme an A nevertheless :p who let us watch cool movies like Bowling for Columbine. Armit (also known as amy and armpit) and Ram and their insistence on Boo!ing me at every available opportunity and for yr super lame jokes, y'all are super cool! John and his broken arm that we made so much fun of, and his final fantasy craze. Remember me when you come up with yr own RPG game!I'll always remember sneaking food around the LTs, and computer labs, skipping classes just to tell lame jokes. Remember our lame poster for Sentosa that we had to do? For our super nice form teacher aka assistant disiplinarian who always looked out for me but close an eye when i ate in class or broke any other minor rule :p. Janna and Hui Xia whom i rode the mrt to and from home with, it's been great having MG friends with me in YJ :) There's just so much to say and so little time to do so. Make me scuirm everytime i think of y'all, miss y'all sooooo much tis unbelievable.

Next step, ACJC. The JC i wanted to go to since i was in primary school. I dream early :p i was upset when i wasn't accepted and bitter when i went to YJ. But after the real o'level results came out, i was reluctant to leave YJ, and rather pensive and cautious when i entered ACJC. Back to the old ballgame of being in MG, the peer pressure, judgement and social expectation i had forgotten when i spent the first 3 months in YJ. It didn't hit me until the excitement of seeing old friends wore off and i entered into a class in which i knew no one. The irony that i almost knew all the girls in the school because mostly everyone was from MG but barely knew the one mg girl in my class wasn't lost on me. Recess on the first day of school had to be the most deserted time of the day. No one else i knew had a break during then, and i just wasn't used to eating alone. But chicken rice and i found a corner to curl in. God bless Xinxinen who came hunting for tiff and stayed with her till it was time for chinese, in which i met Xuan Ting, aka Glam Queen who lamented the lack of nice people in our current class and how much she missed those in her previous ACJ class. A'sari, our class president took me under his wing later on, and kinda linked me up to the class. He showed me TC, thus starting off my involvement with that CCA. Another compass which shifted my journey is probably unaware of his involvement in sparking up my rapidly dulling Ac life. Though i've only met him for a short short while, and can't remember ever having a conversation with him (rambling rubbish into a
handphone shoved in front of me doesn't count), Lennard Seah was prob the biggest catalyst in my AC life. Haha suprise suprise :p i remember the shocked audacity Sugy's taunting encured and how indignant i felt when Lennard left ac shortly after the episode with Sugy. Alas it was inevitable i had to say something :p, which sparked off conversation with Bob and Ernest (which intimidated me at first glance because of the lack of smileys :p) and later Daryl joined in, and i learnt that these fellow classmates of mine weren't all that bad. The insistent praying paid off :) this basically climbed up from there. Xuan Ting's exclassmate from the 1st 3 months transfered over, i found out Issac was Buddy's cousin whom i had already met at her bday party. Josh, our family friend (whom i forgot existed till then) tranfered over, Gary aka my Godfather (who's a super duper good swimmer) appeared outta no where. Bob, mr i am very dao! turned up to be going to Purdue, and who wasn't actually that dao, a cool conversationalist and computer nerd (not to mention mugger) introed my to purduuuue and tada! now i've been there for the last 4-5 months. Computing classes were fun, other than the exposure of my utter lack of talent in programming and the moments in which i felt incredibly stupid. And it was during these sessions of computing, PW and TC that i met and got to know someone who is so incredibly alike yet so opposite in personality. Though self-acclaimed ephemera, it is hard to think others who's imprints have gone to deep. I have yet to meet someone who connected so well with me and who's presence in which i'm so comfortable in. It's rare to come across someone so driven, intellegent with that lilting sense of humour. Most of the highly intellegent people i meet believe themselves to be superior. Acjc has been an experience which i believe taught me enough to survive my first university semester (in other word independance, to some degree). And my loyalty in the AC and MG family won't end! *waves flag*


CAP. The meeting of so many creative, intellegent minds. And the much needed bonding session between an old friend and I, Mabs :D You can't imagine how much those late night talks did to me. Pushed me back on track you did! It's hard to believe that we meet waaaaaay back in primary school and now we're all old and .... fine. It was not that long ago :p but trust me Mabs, we're going to stretch this friendship way into our grandchildrenhood you get it?! ha! :p Datapad Conversations and BCC hoi! Onward we go! Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I still read that whooole stack of DCs everytime i get nostalgic (which is rather often) you're the best Keyn!CAP taught me the importance in looking and portraying the brighter side of life. After being bombarded with angsty, rival to Linkin Park, prose and poems, it showed me the real challenge in creative writing, how to manipulate shitty situations and create a good laugh. Drama tested me on the personal inhibitions and the coping with ppl who though themselves as arty farty and therefore given the liscence to swear, degrade and be vulgar. Wish is wasn't soooooooo :p And also showed me people so full and brimming with talent but lacking the self-confidence and encouragement to go on and make their mark in the world! Tim, you are one of 'em. Go forth and conquer!

Purdue. (my butt's numb from sitting for so long) Enough has been said about purdue! Just the very big challenge of being in a school without the Christian background, and going through the process in which seperates the wolf from the sheep. A trial in which i'm not even halfway through yet. As my last day with my parents and bro, tis dump to keep typing away. shall proceed to my New Years Resolutions!


1. Initiate change! No more stagnation!
2. Lose 8 KG :p
3. Make my parents proud
4. Smile :)
5. Grow closer to God and STOP STRAYING!
6. Find a secret hot chocolate recipe!
7. Wake up in time for all classes and don't pon unnessasarily
8. Do something other than sit around whining. (refer to 1)
9. Hiking up with God to the valley of Agape :p (corny i know)
10. Dance.

My resolutions are not ranked in any order of importance. They are also subjected to change :p And probably the addition, subtraction or variation during Chinese new year :p

Thus ends my last and longest entry for the year. Prob longest for the next year too.

Ciao Amigos
Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt (haha okay okay)

Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari? (:p)

My final greetings and farewells,
Amicitiae nostrae memoriam spero sempiternam fore,
Ave atque vale.

Three peas in a pod, a seed and a stork

Speaking about once in a life time experiences, a man in Beach Ave. apartments walked into a talking elevator. My mom was trying to contact a friend who stayed at a hotel somewhere along beach ave. but must have copied down the wrong number. After numerous tries, someone finally picked up the other line and stated that my mom had just called his apartment's emergency elevator line. And that it was rather strange talking to the elevator. Hehe :p

Christmas was wonderful :D I didn't realise how much i missed my parents till i saw them again :p, kinda weird since i thought i realise how much i needed them only after they left. But i guess i started soaking into my new found freedom. Alas i do take comfort in the chains that bind me. Takes off the responsiblity of things. I'm starting to dread my 18th and 21st birthday :p bleurg. I believe it shld be sweet 17 instead of sweet 16.




3 peas in a pod

The reunion of the siblings :p can't imagine how much i missed my little brother's high excited voice. It's nice to have a bundle of energy to bounce around with. Always raises yr spirits :) plus, he's a real charmer. Heartbreak! haha Suprise of suprises, my brother and i gave each other mug (his a spiderman mug, mine a little mug cover with little hearts), and my sis and i gave each other furry slippers, with a handbag stuffed in hers, and earring in mine :D



BIG feet!

Nobody who loves you more than family :) prob by next year, it's gonna only be yr family (and friends i consider family!) who really think about you all the time back at home (S'pore!) :D agape! ^^ My parents dragged a whole suitcase of stuff for me to Vancouver hehe, gonna have trouble lugging it back home.

I shall leave New Years Resolution for a more strategic time :) have to go pack! (Parents leaving on the 1st :( but am going to stay with sis till the 9th! :D)





Merry Christmas everyone! Remember to pray for those affected by the tsunami! Hope y'all had a great great Christmas!

Skyline faded blue send your love

There are some beautiful eclipses in time when you feel absolutely, beautiful. And loved. 'tis bittersweet that these instances are an elusive glimpse at the rare silver lining, so treasure it when you have the chance. and dance :D

My whole hearted thanks goes to Xy, Steph, Chris 1&2 :) You'all made that special day so wonderful! And now that i'm a year older, no one can make fun of my age anymore! muahahahahahahaha... (just kidding :p) Xy and Chrises the Naruto calender is sooooo cooool! Tis awesome! I love it so much i have to show it off!


Naruto Calender!

And to Steph, for the whole box of memoirs and the yummy Dairy queen ice cream cakes plus all the effort, Tiff is speechless :D


Beautiful icecream cake!

And to all the other great great people who remembered my birthday, thankews :) i love y'all! Rach, thanks for the bible and the shirt! Dav, Bri, Chel, i got yr card thankews!

Alas the day is incomplete without contrasts. (besides, what's white without black) My parents forgot tiff's birthday. blamed it on jetlag they did. But tis okie :) glad to know some others remember. Dav, that call was a gift from God :) Thankews sooooo much!

a juxtaposition of proviso and idleness

The idea of having 3 exams on a day never really hit me till the night before and the day itself, in which the beauty of my first sighted snowfall in Purdue and my impending death sentence clashed wills. After being lashed by the armed tailend of the wind, the worry wart won.

It wasn't such a sordid experience i suppose. And if i might say so myself, it was a job well done. For a day's worth of mugging, that is :) but we shouldn't expect more.

The next and final exam wld be Saturday, also the day i leave for Vancouver. So i am faced about 2-3 days of rest, and full day of studying on Friday and Sat morning. Currently i am faced with a suspension between those days of rest, with work disturbing my subconsiousness and the need and want to slack occupying my consiousness.

I wonder how long i'll be spending on the first round around the monopoly board.

Things thus imaginable

With the exams currently crawling up to dance the can-can infront of me, it is inevitable that i get struck down but what seems like a blastedly insistant flu that refuses to leave. My sleep cycle has been iradicated with empty pockets of air and an occasional discordance, and i am constantly struck with the feeling that i have lots of things to do, but nothing in mind. Despite all, i am alive ^^. The joy.

Bank statement found its way into my mailbox yesterday, one of the few unwanted letters i get. Apparently i have managed to cork up an unbelievable sum of 555 USD in just the month of november. How i'm going to explain this to my parents is still an illusive thought i rather not ponder upon.

I have also given into the reality of 4day 7:30am English lessons for next semester. And i can't even wake up for my current 9 and 1030 classes. Go me.

As of the beginning of next semester, i shall be self-declared lover of Shiva, and best friend of jack frost. Tread gently.

The sordid tale of a million pieces

The floor had just been cleaned. With great effort, it would seem, as it gleamed with mocking perfection. A pair of autumn shaded socks plodded along, soft and silent in contemplation of the cold biting air, large piling stockpile of work and the ever present voice of temptation. Slack... slack! But it was about time to get pulled together and face the twisted dark path of work. The journey would have to start sooner or later. Better later than sooner though.

Cups clanked softly as it collided together, a glinch in the process of domestication. Washing liquid stank, but the bubbles were amusing enough for the cleaning process to be bearable. Beside, the thought of the lack of somethink hot and warm to clear a clogged and raw nasal passage was unbearable. Such encourage was needed. Cold water can be hateful.

Alas, the cups were finally clean and the vision of nice hot soup could be fulfilled. The bathroom door open behind the soft push of a foot and the short journey back to the source of food could continue. If it was meant to be.

It wasn't. -.-

Outside, glaring with formidable energy was a perfect sample of what we call red hair demons (also know as ang mohs). And with the terrible momentem of shock and slight terror, the socks slid across the shiny tiles accompanied with a high pitched yelp which ended in a finale of shattered glass.

No more miso soup.

No more hot chocolate.

NO MORE CUPS!

I would morn in silence.

But i can't.

Stupid comm 114 class.